It’s March 2026 and we are revisiting some oldie but goodie posts. Here’s one with some refreshments. Enjoy!
Do you really need to pay a lawyer to create an estate plan? Pros of doing it yourself are that it can be fast and it is cheap. Cons are that you’ll probably mess it up.
Occasionally people ask about creating a Will or Trust without an attorney. The answer is, it depends.
However, just like cutting your own hair, just because you can does not mean you should. Sure, it works out great for some but is embarrassing for most of us.
In estate planning, there are a lot of moving parts. First, there is more to an estate plan than a Will. For example, there are powers of attorney, guardianship, and custodianship considerations, among other things. Each of these comes with decisions and strategies to consider.
Not only that, even the law governing simple Wills is not that simple. Case in point, England’s gift to American probate law, the Rule Against Perpetuities. Put simply, this prohibits a trust from lasting forever and ever, well, into perpetuity. It dates back to the 1680s and confounds even experienced lawyers so often that the California Supreme Court ruled in Lucas v. Hamm, 56 Cal.2d 583 that it is not malpractice if a California attorney misinterprets it!
Let that sink in . . . Professionals with years of education and years of work experience struggle to comprehend the nuances of a law. But not you . . . you’ll whip it up with a quick ChatGPT query. Not likely.
You may think that since I am an estate planning lawyer, it’s in my best interest to tell you to get a lawyer to draft your estate plan. And that would be true. But, I have also represented trustees tasked with administering DIY Trusts and I can say that DIY Trusts are very good for business. This is because regular folks, and even sometimes lawyers who dabble in estate planning, make lots of mistakes. Don’t notice the gaps they leave and the inconsistencies and ambiguities they create. Resolving these when the DIY-er is no longer around can be a profitable undertaking.
Botched, incomplete or invalid wills usually turn up in the lawyer’s office after it’s too late and the drafter has died. The children and heirs end up paying much more than the cost of preparing a plan. In addition to attorney’s fees, they pay with their time, emotional and mental frustration, and, sometimes, ruined family relationships.
A task force assembled by the American Bar Association issued a statement on whether people should attempt doing their own estate plan. Their answer is that it might be okay in some circumstances but that it’s probably not a good idea. You can read the ABA article here.
To find out how I can help your with your estate plan, contact me here or call me at 650.636.7247.
Every 4 years I’m reminded that I’m married to a person from the former Soviet Union when the Winter Olympics becomes the center of attention in our home. This year is no different. The 2026 Milano Cortina Olympic games are underway.
Last night my husband sat down at the dinner table and announced that he had some important news. We might be very surprised. When I paused, soup spoon in midair, mouth agape, he added “everyone is going to be okay”. Then he didn’t say anything else — which is also a very Soviet thing to do.
After dinner he turned on the replay of the figure skating mens’ free skate.
U.S. skater, Ilia Malinin, has been the shining favorite of men’s figure skating for the U.S team. He does things on the ice that no one else can do. News articles announced: He can’t be beat.
Last night, we watched Canadian Stephen Gogolev. Amazing, perfect. Then, Kazakh Mikhail Shaidorov stunned with a dazzling performance. After Mikhail’s skate I said, he could get a medal for that. It was wonderful.
I’m not an athlete and can’t imagine what it takes. I don’t know how it feels to have a perfect skate, knowing that Yuma Kagiyama, Shun Sato and the American Ilia Malinin are waiting to push you down the leaderboard. But I do know about showing up.
In 2010, I attended the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I drove my mother-in-law and my 2-year old from Vancouver to watch men’s speed skating. The arena was far from the other venues and difficult to find. Apparently others had the same issue because a skater for one of those European countries bordering the Northern Sea wasn’t in the arena when it came time for the race. The second seed from his country was there but didn’t have his gear. The third seed was an hour away in Vancouver. The country’s fourth ranked skater was there with his gear in hand and would race for his country.
It’s been over 15 years and I still remember that moment. I looked at my two-year old and thought, I’m going to let her know about the power of showing up. This athlete wasn’t supposed to race today. He gets this chance because he showed up with his gear and a can-do attitude.
A long time ago, at another dinner table, my grandfather would lean in and tell my sister and me that success in life is about showing up. You don’t have to be smarter than everybody else, there are a lot of people that are smarter than you. Don’t worry about that. There are also a lot of people not as smart as you, that doesn’t matter. Showing up is the most important thing. Sometimes showing up is the hardest thing.
So last night, we watched as the favored Japanese skaters, who were expected to overtake Mikhail, struggled on the ice. Then we watched 21 year old, Ilia Malinin, take the ice. We expected to see him take the top spot from Mikhail. Then he fell. Twice. As a parent, it was wrenching.
I watched as the realization dawned on 21 year old, Mikhail Shaidorov. Because of his gorgeous and technically perfect skate, he would win Kazakhstan’s first gold in figure skating.
In my work, I see couples, parents and grandparents show up for their families. They do the work of putting together their estate plans for something that they don’t think is going to happen for a long, long time. Estate planning isn’t fun. It asks you to think about the worst case scenario. Sometimes showing up is the hardest thing to do.
Let’s talk about what it looks like to show up for the people you love. Call 650-636-7247 to schedule an introduction call with Christina.
Estate planning is frequently viewed as a static event—a document signed and filed away.
However, when a separation or divorce begins, a dynamic, high-stakes process is set in motion. This paper serves to bridge the gap between family law and estate planning, to ensure that a client’s legal and financial architecture does not collapse during their most vulnerable transition.
Dispelling the “Final Decree” Myth
There is a dangerous, widespread assumption among both clients and many attorneys that that the filing of a divorce petition automatically severs inheritance rights. This is a fallacy.
In reality, in many jurisdictions, until a final judgment is entered, the “soon-to-be-ex” remains the legal next-of-kin, the default trustee, and in some cases, the primary beneficiary.
Many professionals mistakenly believe that estate planning needs to wait until the Final Decree. This is also not true.
In the era of silver divorce, where many people are divorcing at age 50 and over, the risks of mental or physical illness and even death are rising. Without immediate estate planning intervention, when a client become incapacited or dies mid-divorce a legal landscape of competing laws and practices looms ahead.
The Convergence of Practice Areas: A Multi-Dimensional Opportunity
Navigating a mid-divorce death requires more than “solid” lawyering. It requires that the advisor have a solid grip on convergence of family law, trusts and probate laws and even ERISA rules. Each of these areas alone is dynamic and complex.
By integrating estate planning with the divorce process, we can more swiftly arrange for management of accounts and property, give clients emotional security during a time of chaos, leverage professional synergy and even delegate a successor to see the divorce process to finality.
Estate Planning as part of the Matrimonial Workflow
The “Early-and-Often” applies here.
The family law attorney should not view estate planning as a post-divorce “closing item”. Instead, it must be woven through the entire process. Waiting for the Final Decree to address is a risky game and gambles with the client’s financial and personal legacy.
If possible bring a trusts and estates attorney onto the team before filing. If not, discuss the importance of revising the estate plan with your client early and often.
When your client meets with an attorney for an estate plan that bridges the married and single status, they not only can avoid problems but also may raise points that can be negotiated as part of the Settlement Agreement. For example agreement on a guardian for minor children in the event both parents pass can be a major win a divorcing couple.
An interim estate plan acts as a “bridge” to decide what happens to property and accounts specifically during the pendency of the divorce. This is the only mechanism to override default statutory outcomes while the parties are still legally “married” but functionally estranged.
The Professional Risk of Being Silent
“It is better to advise and be ignored than to be silent and be sued.”
Professional power is built on competence, and nothing erodes competence like a malpractice claim. The landmark case of Smith v. Lewis serves as a stark reminder: an attorney can be held liable for failing to research and advise on unsettled or “obvious” areas of law. For this reason, you must include a discussion of estate planning as part of your process.
Many attorneys believe that estate planning can only be done when a Final Decree is issued. This is not the case. A Bridge estate plan can span the gap.
To serve the client effectively—and to insulate your firm from liability. At a minimum, every divorce file should include:
A documented conversation regarding the risks of death/incapacity during the case. Ideally the estate planning attorney is brought in before a petition is even filed.
The estate planning attorney’s analysis of the proposed Settlement Agreement for gaps and ambiguities.
A formal letter advising the client to consult with an estate planning attorney to finalize an interim plan.
Are you a Family Law attorney and want to know more about delivering the best quality of service and advice to your clients? Let’s connect.
Are you considering divorce or mid-divorce and want to know about our Bridge Estate Plans? Let’s connect.
In the United States, we take often take our legal wellbeing for granted. Every aspect of our health – mental, physical, spiritual, financial, occupational, intellectual, social and environmental – depends on our legal wellbeing.
The concept of the wellness wheel is an integral part of how I approach every client engagement. Through legal counsel and advice, I provide a foundation for individuals to attend to their overall wellbeing.
Some years ago, while my family and I were at a party with dancing and a DJ. After a bit, the DJ invited guests to sing karaoke. My 8 year old ran up to the booth to make the first request. I was surprised and didn’t know she knew any popular songs by heart. Imagine my surprise when she sang, in her loudest 8-year old voice: “I got the eye of the tiger / A fighter / Dancing through the fire / ‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar”
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? -Fleetwood Mac –
My teen went to high school today but she’s not a high school student. Instead she’s touring a local high school in an activity called “shadow day.” She’ll attend classes and, hopefully, get an idea of what it’s like to be a student there.
Much preparation went into this shadow day. She had to secure a coveted spot; get tested for Covid no more than 72 hours in advance; and, of course, select the right outfit. Of course, I did not prepare myself and so, I was not prepared for the nausea that rose in me the few seconds it took for her to turn from me, bounce up the steps and dart through the frosted glass doors into another world.
We learn the phrase “object permanence” when we first become interested in a baby. People whose job it is to know, explain that babies cry when mother goes away because babies just don’t understand the concept of “object permanence.” A thing can go away and still exist. But, they reassure us, once baby sees that father leaves and then comes back, baby won’t cry or at least won’t cry so much. And there is more good news. We can help baby understand through games like peek-a-boo. “See”, we say, “here’s my face, now it’s behind my hand. I’m still here!”
While standing with the other parents on the sidewalk, looking at the watercolor shapes and figures as they shifted behind the frosted glass doors, I wondered, “Do babies feel nauseous during their first peek-a-boo experience?” Maybe, they cry because of the nausea. I felt like crying, too.
Really, my daughter practices leaving all the time. She is getting pretty good at leaving. She is the captain of her ship. I need lots of practice standing on the shore. I try to help. “Look out,” I shout into the wind, “I crashed there once before!” If you have never shouted into the wind, try it. Your words don’t get very far. I am learning to live with the nauseous feeling.
But really, she has been practicing leaving for a long time, for like forever. Babies disappear into toddlers and then into little kids and then into big kids and on and on. The constant disappearing act leaves me off-balance. Think you know that little boy? Wait a few months and a new little boy will be in his place. Like in Maurice Sendak’s weird and spine-tingling picture book: “Outside, Over There” in which the baby was kidnapped by goblins and replaced with an ice baby. He’s a new boy with brand-new opinions, he prefers a different nickname, his best friend was an enemy yesterday, and he loves the food cooked by his friend’s mother but can’t stand it when you serve it. Then, to keep it interesting, wait a few months more and he’s back to the little boy you knew before, sort of.
But many things about childhood are outrageous and confusing. That is probably why it took so long for me to realize that the kids aren’t disappearing at all. They are being incorporated, like yeast into bread or in the way the seed incorporates the rain, soil and sun to become an apple. My daughter has been incorporating into herself. My care, meddling and feeding, like soil, sun and rain, are no separate thing but necessary and indivisible.
I’ll pick her up this afternoon. She’ll learn things I can’t even imagine. Perhaps the baby cries because it already knows the lesson of object permanence. There is no such thing.
How to make sure emergency personnel know who to call if you’re injured in an accident.
Every parent or caregiver worries about being able to protect their child, aged parent, or other loved one. If you’re in an accident, how can you let first responders know who to call?
As a trusts & estates attorney, I have the privilege of helping families through every stage of life. Whether it’s a new college grad setting up a basic protective plan or grandparents planning for the next generation – I have been honored to help families through many different situations.
Taking care of your physical safety is fundamental to an estate plan. Here are some tools that I and my clients use:
Use your iPhone’s health app (video link below)
You can add emergency contacts to your iPhone and some android phones, too. This is a great idea because you’re likely to carry your phone with you to most places.
If you have an iPhone, follow these steps to set up your emergency contacts:
There’s an area to manually add Medical Notes. Here’s an example of how you might use this space:
The names and phone numbers in the image are blocked out, you’ll want to make sure to include that information in your notes.
Many android phones have similar health apps.
If you don’t have a Health app on your phone, you can change the lock-screen to display an In Case of Emergency (commonly called “ICE”) contact and phone number. Typically, space is limited on the lock-screen display so, use that space thoughtfully. An example is “ICE Jane Doe (888) 888-5855”.
DocuBank for Emergency Directives
Emergency personnel tell me that if an advance health care directive isn’t available. It doesn’t exist. This means that it’s not enough to have a medical directive in your file at home. It needs to be available to medical professionals in an emergency. This is where DocuBank steps in.
Members send a copy of their advance health care directive to DocuBank to be stored and accessed on-demand in case of an emergency. DocuBank provides a wallet card with a unique number and pin, allergies, medication and emergency contact info to each member. In an emergency, EMTs or other medical professionals can call or go online to retrieve the advance health care directive and get you the help you need right away.
If you’re an estate planning client and you don’t have a DocuBank membership, contact me. You can find more info about DocuBank here.
Create a Basic Estate Plan
A basic estate plan tells your loved ones how to care for you and the people that matter to you. It is the cornerstone of adulting 101. If you don’t have a basic estate plan in place . . . you’re like most people and let’s face it, you’re not happy being average.
Talk to your loved ones about what you want for yourself and each other. The Coda Alliance realized that this can be a very intimidating conversation so they created this set of cards to make it easier.
In my experience, sharing your wishes with your family is an amazing gift. Clients have told me that they felt so completely loved when they realized their parent had made final arrangements. On the other hand, deciding final wishes can be overwhelming and difficult when facing a terminal illness. For this reason, I recommend having this conversation as soon as possible.
If you have resources that I haven’t listed here, I’d love to hear about them. Feel fee to leave them in the comments below or send me a note.
I created this download to offer some ideas about what type of planning is typical for people by age. Most people are complicated and life is . . . interesting. This means that a chart like this should not be relied on to make any decisions.
I hope it does bring awareness and raise questions for you to bring to your own attorney. Only your attorney can tell you what’s best for you.
Starting a new job is an exciting new chapter in your life. Depending on your company’s onboarding process, there can be a lot of moving parts. You may feel overwhelmed by the introduction and review of the many different types of employee benefits. Not only are there forms to be filled out, they need to be filled out properly to ensure that your financial and estate planning wishes are carried out.
By making the appropriate elections and designations, you can make sure that many of your benefits go to the right people at the right time.
Beneficiary Designations
Beneficiary designation forms are an effective way for you to choose who should receive the death benefit from your employer-provided life insurance policy or the balance of your retirement account if either or both of these benefits are being offered to you as part of your employment. The beneficiary designation forms allow you to name a primary beneficiary and a contingent beneficiary (as backup in case the primary beneficiary is deceased or does not want the money). You have several choices when naming a primary beneficiary. You can choose one person, two people to split the death benefit or account, a charity, or even a trust. In some circumstances, your employer’s plan may require that your spouse be listed as the primary beneficiary of the retirement account or consent to someone else being named as primary beneficiary.
Because the beneficiary designation will override anything written in a will or trust, it is important that you complete this form properly. If you do not fill it out and subsequently die, the account or death benefit will be distributed according to the default rules of the account or policy agreement, which may give the balance to your spouse or heirs, as defined by the plan agreement or applicable state law, or to your estate, which will require your loved ones to go through the costly, time-consuming, and public probate process and could result in adverse tax consequences because of a shorter payout period.
Note that most people find that life insurance provided by an employer is rarely sufficient. For example, the policy usually ends when you leave the job and as you age, your health profile may make it hard for you to find affordable insurance. That’s why most financial advisors recommend purchasing life insurance while you’re in good health.
Stock or Other Ownership Interests
If you are being offered company stock or other ownership interests as part of your employment benefits, it is important that you understand what that entails. Experienced financial, tax, and estate planning professionals should be contacted so they can help you understand what you have received. To properly plan, you need to know
the type of interest,
when the interest vests,
whether there any tax obligations or reporting requirements,
what will happen if you leave your employment,
what happens if you die while still employed, and
how you can pass along your interest to your loved ones through your estate plan.
To safeguard the employment benefits you may be offered, a foundational estate plan is key to tying everything together for a successful future.
Foundational Estate Planning
A foundational estate plan can close the gap on making sure you and your loved ones get the most protection for when you need it.
Last will and testament. This document, also known as a will, or a pour-over will if you also have a revocable living trust, can be used to name an executor or personal representative to wind up your affairs, direct what should happen with your money and property, and nominate someone as a guardian for your minor children if you have any. Your family will have to go through probate to receive any money or property controlled by the will.
Revocable living trust. As an alternative to a standalone will, a revocable living trust allows you and your loved ones to avoid the probate process by transferring your money and property to a trust during your lifetime or naming the trust as a beneficiary of your accounts and property. In most cases, you are the trustee and continue to manage the money and property. In addition, you can continue to enjoy the use of the money and property during your lifetime. If you become unable to manage your financial affairs, a successor trustee that you previously selected can step in without court involvement and manage the trust on your behalf and for your benefit. You can also designate what will happen to the trust’s money and property at your death.
Financial power of attorney. This document allows you to choose a trusted person (an agent or attorney-in-fact) to handle your financial matters (sign checks, open a bank account, etc.). In this document, you can specify the scope of the agent’s authority and when the agent can act. Without this document, a court will need to appoint someone if you need someone to handle a financial matter on your behalf. This can take time and money that may not be available in the midst of a crisis.
Medical power of attorney. This document allows you to appoint a trusted person as your decision maker to communicate or make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you cannot do so. Absent this designation, the court may be required to name someone to make these decisions for you, costing your loved ones time, money, and privacy.
Advance Health Care Directive. This document, known by either name depending on your state, allows you to convey your wishes regarding end-of-life decisions. Properly documenting your wishes can make them easier to carry out and reduce tensions brought on by uncertainty.
HIPAA authorization form. A Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) form allows you to grant specific individuals access to your medical information (e.g., to get a status update on your condition or receive test results) without giving those individuals the authority to make decisions on your behalf. Sometimes having information can help reduce tensions among the parties involved because everyone has access to the same information even if only one party has the authority to make any decisions.
Joining a new company is an exciting adventure. In addition to the human resources representative at your new company, we are here to help you protect the legacy you are in the process of building by creating a proper estate plan.
More often than ever couples are looking to plan for their futures with each other but without marriage.
This article addresses some of the options that unmarried couples have when planning’s transitions.
As with all relationships there are benefits and drawbacks to “making it official.” Depending on the value of your money and property, your desired level of protection from your partner’s creditors, and other factors unique to your situation, one or more of these strategies may be beneficial.
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant
A word of caution: regardless of what methods you use, you must work with an experienced estate planning attorney. While do-it-yourself options may be cheaper, small, seemingly inconsequential decisions can sometimes create more problems than they solve, and the problems can be expensive to remedy. In California, we see this often with transfers of real estate between unmarried people when property tax increase exponentially.
Add Your Partner as a Joint Owner on an Account or Piece of Property
Making your partner a joint owner isone of the easiest ways to give your partner immediate access to and control over an account or property. As long as the account or property is owned jointly with the right of survivorship, your partner will automatically become the sole owner upon your death with no involvement by the probate court.
This option has its shortcomings. Because your partner will become the sole owner at your death, your partner, not you, gets to choose what will happen to the account or property upon their death. You have to trust that your partner will make a decision you would have supported. In addition, once your partner becomes a joint owner of the account or property, your partner’s debts become your problem. Should your partner become subject to a creditor’s claim or lawsuit, the creditors could seize your jointly owned account or property to satisfy any outstanding judgment. Finally, if you and your partner break up, removing your partner’s name from your accounts or property could be problematic and lead to costly and emotional litigation if your partner is unwilling to cooperate.
Name Your Partner as the Beneficiary of a Retirement Account or Life Insurance Policy
Most retirement accounts and life insurance policies have beneficiary designation forms that allow you to dictate who will receive your retirement account balance or the death benefit when you die. In many cases, the instructions ask you to name a primary beneficiary and a contingent beneficiary (as backup in case the primary beneficiary is deceased or does not want the money). Adding your partner as a beneficiary is another easy solution to get money to your partner at your death without jeopardizing your ability to control the account or policy during your lifetime.
On the other hand, should your partner be sued, that money could be available to satisfy any judgments against your partner. Any money remaining when your partner dies goes to your partner’s heirs, not yours. This also doesn’t work if you want to make sure your partner is cared for since you won’t be able to control how the money will be spent. Your partner could bet it all on the 49ers to win the SuperBowl and take all their friends a fancy dinner at French Laundry.
Name Your Partner as the Pay-on-Death or Transfer-on-Death Beneficiary of an Account
Naming your partner as the pay-on-death (POD) or transfer-on-death (TOD) beneficiary of an account has the same pitfalls as naming them on a beneficiary designation form. Although the POD or TOD option allows you to maintain control of the account during your lifetime after the account has been transferred or the funds paid to your partner at your death, the account or money will become your partner’s. The money then becomes subject to any creditors or judgments your partner may face, it can be spent on frivolous items, and your partner gets to decide what happens to any remaining amounts.
Another downside of the POD or TOD option is that your partner will have access to the money in these accounts only upon your death. Should you become incapacitated (unable to make your decisions), the accounts would still be deemed yours and your partner could not access the funds, absent additional estate planning measures.
Name Your Partner as a Beneficiary in Your Last Will and Testament
A Last Will and Testament allows you to specify what money and property (owned solely in you and not automatically passing to a surviving joint owner or beneficiary) your partner will receive and how your partner will receive it (for example, as a lump sum or as installments over time).
If you choose to leave money or property to your partner, these items are vulnerable to the risks mentioned above, because your partner owns them outright. However, with a will, we can create a testamentary trust to provide extra protection for the money and property you leave to your partner. You must remember, however, that if you use a will, your partner will have to go through the probate process to get the money and property at your death and the probate process could be under court supervision until your partner receives the final amount. In addition, a will is effective only at your death. It will not provide any instructions or benefits to your partner if you become incapacitated.
Name Your Partner as a Beneficiary of Your Revocable Living Trust
A revocable living trust (RLT) is a trust you create during your lifetime that can be changed until your incapacity or death. While you are alive and can make decisions for yourself, you are both the current trustee (the person or entity who manages, invests, and hands out the money and property) and the current beneficiary (allowing you to continue enjoying the money and property during your lifetime). In the trust agreement, you determine who manages the trust and who receives the benefit of the money and property during your lifetime and at your death. You can specify how your partner should be financially provided for during any period of your incapacity, what accounts or property your partner will receive, and when and how your partner will receive the money and property at your death. Under a carefully drafted RLT, the accounts or property can be used to support your partner after your death and even while you are alive and unable to manage your affairs. Also, anything you want your partner to receive can be protected from your partner’s creditors or judgments and from your partner’s spending the money or selling the property to buy extravagant items. The accounts and property owned by the trust will avoid probate, a significant benefit that allows you to keep your private matters out of court and away from prying eyes.
Note, however, that if, after your death, your trust owns any accounts that generate income that is not given to the beneficiaries, the trust will be taxed on the income, usually at a higher rate than what an individual would pay on the same income. Also, the longer the trust exists, the longer it needs to be managed, so there could be ongoing fees associated with the trust such as tax preparation, investment, and management fees, depending on who is the trustee.
We Are Here to Help
As you can see, there are several different ways to provide for your partner during your incapacity or when you die. We are here to help you craft a plan that addresses your concerns and help you ensure that your partner is taken care of during all phases of life. Call us today to schedule your phone or video consultation.
Law Office of Christina Gorokhovsky 